I was feelingoverwhelmed and she saw it. "Here, take off your uniform and hang it uphere."When I stood in just pantys and bra she opened a little draw...r at thebase of the bed. "Here is your sleepwear. I don't ever want to catchyou sleeping in your uniform, understood?" Yes Ma'am," I answered."Well if you're more comfortable with Ma'am I'm happy. When you are onduty that's the way you will need to address me. Maybe by the time weget to Stage Two you'll be comfortable with Momma in private.". “You could, but I’m content just to cuddle you.”“You’re sure?”“I’m sure.”She turned and rolled a bit so she could switch off the lamp on the bedside table, then we cuddled again, falling asleep in each other’s arms.December 31, 1981, McKinley, Ohio“Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked Nancy, probably for the fifth time.We were on our way to her friend Beverly’s house for a New Year’s Eve party.“There won’t be any drugs or any booze, and you’re with me.”“I know, but going to a New Year’s. Just lying in the grass as if you lost them running. Did everything go ok on your way home last night?”“Yeah, I, umm...” I struggled to produce a plausible lie, I was not good at this.“Marie, relax. I know what is going on,” she interrupted.“Uh, you do? Err, I mean, what are you talking about?”She sauntered closer to me and dropped her voice, “I know you’ve been fucking Adam. I know the two of you were in the park last night. I know he fucked you on my Focus after the super bowl. I have known. At least not what I told myself I wanted. I told myself what I really wanted was intimacy and connection and romance and desire. What I really wanted was to worship a woman and treat her like the equal she was in bed and out. I wanted to be the perfect boyfriend women started dreaming of when they were little girls. I wanted to the husband who’d love them forever and never look at porn and never even think about other women. 
And if I sometimes had . . . dreams and thoughts and ‘urges’ that.
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